Shower sex.
Apply generous quantities of soap to each other’s naked bodies and enjoy the smooth sensation of — whoa, where did the non-slip bathtub stickers go? You can’t just step into a bare tub, it’s dangerous. Yes, I know Chloe’s afraid of seahorses — that’s why I bought the dolphin stickers… they’re under the sink… behind the lice shampoo. Behind. Behind. Behind. Do you not know what “behind” means? Forget it, I’ll do it, just move.