Asked by: Ready To Give Up

Wow, ummmm I am not sure where to begin. First I am NO expert in any of this, just like to have fun. There are many things in your question(s) I want to try to address.

1, Porn grosses you out, I get that it used to me as well. I knew Brandon watched it but I always felt like he was cheating on me by watching it. This is where me finding it gross primarily came from. Also porn is geared towards men, so they show much more of the female anatomy than the male anatomy it often seems. If you go on porn hub and look for things like Romantic Sex, basically romantic anything will yield some results, my two favorite search terms are Romantic BDSM & Gentle Femdom. Give it a try alone, don’t have to tell anyone, lay down have a drink, relax your body and watch and learn, who knows you may find yourself pleasuring yourself. I know I did. Porn is the perfect place to learn from, want to know something just search it on pornhub.

Dominant is not something I can actually teach you either are or you are not. If you do not know how to be dominate means you either do not understand what it means, or you are just do not have any sense of authoritarian in you. Maybe Gentle Femdom is what you may want to look into. (See link below). There are several “Challenges” on our site here that deal with this subject. I suggest starting off with our 7 Days of Denial, it is a step by step guide almost, along with a video for each day to watch (well once you are over your porn hangup).

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a28659259/gentle-femdom/

I can not tell you if you are submissive or not, or how to even tell if you are. Here are a couple of fun tests that may give you an idea about yourself and your sexuality. Let me know how things go, and don’t give up there is a wonderful world of sex awaiting you. Also there is nothing like having your hubby under your control, after about three days of denial he will be doing the dishes, laundry, whatever you want him to do. Have fun with this, make it about YOU not him.

Take this quiz to find out more about yourself.
https://sexualalpha.com/start-test/

Asked by: Anonymous

Asked by: C.P. London

C.P. London, I am not a submissive by nature, so I referred your question to a submissive friend of mine who writes a BDSM blog and this is her reply.

Chastity, this is a great question and I will try to give you a response that I think will help.

When you’re a submissive in a relationship, you are always concerned about what your Master or Mistress thinks of you. You hope they can see you are trying to be the best sub you can and that they care about you as much as you care about them. But how do they know you care about them? That’s something that can be a little harder to understand. So, instead of guessing that your Master or Mistress knows that you care, here are some simple ways to ensure they know your true feelings about them.

The Basics

The easiest way to make sure your Dominate knows you care is to make sure you are always following the rules they set forth for you. When you don’t listen, it can seem as though the relationship isn’t as important to you as it is to them – and that’s not a sign you care. Make sure you are following the guidelines you have been taught, and if you’re unclear about anything, make sure you ask for clarification. Many submissives don’t want to ask because they fear that the Dominate will think they are careless, but taking the time to ensure you are on the right path is better than making mistakes and then being punished. Always best to avoid mistakes before you make them, after all.

Going the Extra Mile

Once you have the basics down, you might want to start taking notes about what your Dominate really enjoys. This might include a particular meal or a foot rub, or something else (don’t forget his favorite things in the bedroom). Any of these little things might not be something that you are ordered to do, but by giving your Dominate the things they want without their having to ask, that’s a sign you truly care about them and their happiness.

I hope this helps, if you have more questions please let me know. – anna